Like all mothers whose babies arrive early or with complications that send them to the NICU there is an eyes-wide-open moment when you are faced with how vulnerable we all are. The gift of becoming a mother to a baby born too early is that you will never take even the simplest of moments for granted. My 26-weeker just passed his eye exam at the DMV while applying for a driver’s permit. My heart is full.
When we left the hospital the instruction was “do not let him catch a cold or be around anyone with a cough, cold sore, or runny nose for two years. If someone tells you it is just allergies, don’t believe them”.
Being a present and available parent for my kids drives my ambitions and choice to live and work on my own terms. December tenth is a special day, a milestone day in my journey with my husband as a parent. It is a day that I hold close. Some day is today. Thirteen years ago my Mom sat by my side in the hospital. We were sitting next to the incubator. Actually it is called an isolate. Incubators are for chickens, not people. This very special bed held my very special son, Eric, at a weight of one pound fourteen ounces. ( He now weighs ninety pounds and would be so embarrassed that I wrote this.) Those who knew us then, know this story well. I went into labor on Labor Day and two days later, after loads of magnesium and other drugs, the doctors couldn’t stop the contractions, I was nine centimeters dilated, and Eric was born at twenty–six weeks and two days gestation instead of the full-term forty weeks. I was teeth-chatteringly frightened. …
Eric, my birthday boy, your story is worth telling and every year, I know the fact that I tell you that your are a miracle gets a little more embarassing for you.
When Noah was born and growing from infant to toddler I always thought of him as my “real baby”. To me this meant he was my real and first experience at full-term pregnancy and birth. Of course, Eric was not full-term (26 weeks of real preemie) and was full-on adorable. But, what I never understood until after experiencing a full-term birth was how truly foreign the experience of a preemie mom is to those whose first child is full-term. It took my second time around and thirty-eight weeks of gestation to a real baby to understand why many people seemed so confused about my precautions and nervousness with Eric. Prior to bringing your preemie baby home you are told to not let anyone else hold him if you don’t have to, or at the very least, make sure the person to hold him has all their shots, no fever, no cold sores, no runny nose, no germ-festing-toddlers in their own homes, and maybe even just ask people to where a face mask just in case. And …
On Monday, Eric decided it was time to take a look around. His eyes have opened and he seems to notice our movements next to the incubator. It is hard to tell what color they are but they are dark — either dark blue or brown. We visited him again last night and they have switched him back to the CPAP which is a bigger breathing device that provides positive pressure of air in his lungs. They did this because he was having too many “episodes” of breathing apnea. Sometimes a preemie “forgets” to breathe. When this happens the alarms go off and the nurse gently massages him until he breathes again. This was happening too often so they had to switch the breathing apparatus. He also got some blood from the Blood Bank yesterday because a preemie doesn’t make new blood quickly and they take several blood samples each day. So he was a little low and received 12 ml of blood. They say it will help reduce the apnea because he’ll have more …